A Tick-Yankin' Woman

She woke up one morning with ticks in her hair.

It started her screaming, which rattled the chair

And awakened her husband, who heard of her scare

And swept all those rascals clear from her nightmare.

Or so I heard.

That tale got me wonderin’, Just what would I do

If I woke up with buggies crawling in my wazoo?

I’ve got no one to tell, no friends that I could turn to

Who would want to weed cooties from my bamboo.

I need me a woman, with love in her stare,

One who just wouldn’t mind pulling ticks from my hair.

Yes I value good cooking, and hugs oh so rare,

But a tick-yankin’ woman’s got lovin’ to spare.

Oh yes she does!

I’ve been seekin’ a wife who’s aligned with my soul,

One who cares more for others than in her bankroll.

But I have to admit, it would sure work out quite swell

If she could put down blood-suckers with nary a yell.

I need me a woman, all graceful and fair,

One who just wouldn’t mind pulling ticks from my hair.

Yes I value good grooming, and curves that do flair,

But a tick-yankin’ woman’s got lovin’ to spare.

Oh, yes she does, she surely does,

Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah, I know she does!

I see no better test of a love oh so true

Than to tackle them critters hid in that tattoo.

For if she’ll do that, then I know her virtue

Will survive all the nonsense that I’ll put her through.

I need me a woman, with love in her stare,

One who just wouldn’t mind pulling ticks from my hair.

Yes I value good cooking, and hugs oh so rare,

But a tick-yankin’ woman’s got lovin’ to spare.

Oh, yes she does! She surely does!

Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah, I know she does!